Your Friends Are The Reason You’re Not Successful

I don’t know about you, but I’ve always known that I have to surround myself with people who have the same goals and dreams as me, but I just never get round to doing it.

I usually get reminded as I’m scrolling through Instagram, and a quote like this jumps out from the screen:

I think to myself “My god, it’s right, I love my friends but I need to find me some millionaires to hang about with.” Approximately 16 minutes later I’ve completely forgot about my big plan to find millionaire buddies, and I’ll be on the phone seeing what my friends are doing.

We all know that our friends don’t really understand our goals and ambitions, but you keep them around because life wouldn’t be the same without them.

But that’s your major problem your life will always be the same if you’re hanging about with the SAME people.

You want to find more successful people to hang about with, people who will inspire, guide and motivate you.

But then you realize that finding, contacting and befriending these people is quite difficult and you proceed to cuddle up with Netflix and some chocolate.

Which is why you’re current friends are stopping you from being successful.

Deep down you probably know this but that little voice in your head persuades you otherwise, it mumbles on in your brain with thoughts of:

“You like your friends, you don’t want to go out into the big scary world and meet new people anyway, you might get embarrassed, let’s just settle with what we got”

Don’t get me wrong, the majority of your friends are probably cool people, but they wont have the same goals, dreams and ambitions that you do. Try explaining to your friends you want to scale a freelance business to six figures so you can live in Vietnam and see what they say.

The cheesy Instagram quote about being the average of the five people you hang about with speaks the truth. If you’re hanging about with heavy drinkers, you will eventually become a heavy drinker. It may take days, weeks, months, years or decades but you will slowly morph into whatever the average is of the five people you spend the most time with.

Which is why it is so important to find people who have similar goals, interests and desires to you.

Because your friends may support you, but they won’t understand your way of thinking, your desire to be successful or your dreams.

If they can’t understand they will begin to question you, bring negativity and try to make you more like them. They may do this subconsciously or consciously.

Ideally you want friends who are ahead of you on your path to achieve your goals. If you surround yourself with people who are achieving your goals I guarantee at the very least you will reach the same level off success they do.

Think about it,

If you want to travel the world before you’re 30, you’re going to want to surround yourself with people who have travelled the world, people planning to travel the world and people already travelling the world. If these are the people who you are spending the majority of your time with, how long do you think it will be before you’re travelling the world?

If you want to be a millionaire, are you better spending your time with people who like to party, or are you better spending your time with millionaires whose lives revolve around making money.

Although it’s obvious as you read, if you take a moment to truly think about it, you will realize that you’re not hanging about with the right kind of people.

In his book Think and Grow Rich, which is one of my favorite all times books, it changed my life (Not to sound like a teenage white girl) Napoleon Hill talks about surrounding yourself with the best, he explains how the wealthiest people surround themselves, with other talented friends and colleagues who share their vision. These minds together are so much more powerful than one.

This book is full of wisdom and it’s so quotable, one of my favorite quotes being:

A group of brains coordinated in a spirit of harmony will provide more thought energy than a single brain, just as a group of electrical batteries will provide more energy than a single battery.Napoleon Hill

Napoleon Hill studied and interviewed the likes of Henry Ford, Thomas Jefferson and just about every super successful person in America at the time and this is the advice they gave, so you know it’s the real deal. Henry Ford was renowned for surrounding himself with smarter people it’s what allowed him to grow such a massive automotive industry.

Exposure to people who are more successful than you has the potential to expand your thinking and catapult your incomeNapoleon Hill

If you want to pick up think and grow rich, you can pick it up here:

Buy Think and Grow Rich – You Won’t Regret it

But unfortunately this thing called life isn’t fair. So getting this group of successful people without angering or upsetting anyone can be quite difficult.

Here’s my recommendation.

Figure out one goal that is important to you, this may be acquiring a million, financial freedom, the ability to travel or just about anything you want.

Locate people with similar goals.

To find these people you will have to:

  • Go to real world events, clubs, societies, networking events. I know it’s scary facing new people but just do it.
  • Join Facebook groups with people off like minded interests. You can join the Rich Young Adult Community
  • Look for forums and be an active member and contributor.
  • Reach out to people ahead of you and ask for guidance, but provide value in return.

Once you’ve found, located and started a conversation you’ll find it pretty easy to talk to people with similar goals and interests, as it’s so rare to connect with people who share the same ambitions a friendship will naturally start.


Don’t disown your current friends completely.

You don’t want to completely eliminate them from your life they don’t deserve that, at the end of the day you have fond memories with these people, but you need to ask yourself a question.

Are my current friends I’m spending the majority of my time with really helping me achieve the life I want?

If they aren’t you need to start spending less and less time with them, they will still be a part of your life just a much smaller part.

Let me make something clear, you can’t change how your friends are as individuals, if you’re ideal life is travelling the world, whereas your friends is to own a five bedroom house, there is a mismatch and you will waste your time and you’re friends time trying to change who they are.

In the past I’ve got so frustrated because I wanted to help my friends get more money, give them more freedom and get them motivated for life, but as hard as I tried I could not change them. You cannot force someone to change it’s up to them. Remember this and you’ll save yourself a lot of frustration.

People won’t have the same goals or vision as you, this applies to relationships, friendships and unfortunately some marriages.

It can seem cold but some of the people you hang about with aren’t good for you, these negative people will mock you, insult your goals and generally upset you. These “friends” are usually introduced via friends of friends, or you grew up with them, they don’t deserve you.

Completely eliminate these negative people from your life.

If you want to be successful you’ve got to make some tough decisions, explain to your friends that you’re not avoiding them, you just want to spend more time with people who can guide you and will help you with your goals.

If they are true friends they will support you, they may be hurt but explain that you will still see them, you just need some time to surround yourself with like minded people.

Always remember though no matter if your goal is financial, personal or materialistic there will always be sacrifices you have to make, if having a close knit friend group is more important to you than making a million, stick with your friends. But don’t expect to become a millionaire because of them.

Either way it’s your choice you can either stick with your current group and slowly merge into the average of the group, relying on your own motivation and inspiration, constantly trying not to become the average of the group. Or you can take a risk and reach out to people who will give you the life you want, but you may have to leave some people behind.

We become like the people we associate with, and that’s why winners are attracted to winnersSteve Siebold

Here’s the YouTube video in case you missed it:

Do you think your success is determined by the five people you spend the most time with? Or is it all about you as an individual? Reply in the comments because I just LOVE this stuff.

If you enjoyed this, have a read at Why your sex drive is the reason you won’t be successful.

Comments 3

  1. Quinn Cassidy

    Interesting. 100% agree. Curious about your business and what residual you receive for doing what kind of free lancing work? I am also building my own business and am determined to never stop. Lmk @quietcassidy
    -Quinn Cassidy

  2. Post

    Hi, Quinn I do web development work in WordPress – so basically if someone has a technical problem I solve it for them. I also sell Information products, and work with eCommerce businesses and small companies to help them succeed. Glad to meet a fellow entrepreneur, keep up the hustle 🙂

  3. Pingback: Your Sex Drive is the Reason you won't be Successful

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